Decisions, decisions...

This Tuesday I am leaving for Anchorage, Alaska for a demo, a conference and to conduct a one day training seminar for individuals who use our equipment in the oil field.

I'm really excited about the trip, but I have no doubt it will have its stressful moments.

On Thursday morning, I will be catching a plane to Prudhoe Bay on the North Slope where I will give a demo of some new equipment to an oil company up there (duh). Since I love planning outfits, I've been trying to decide what I should wear. It has been "strongly suggested" to me by a fellow co-worker that I should dress "tomboy" for the day trip demo. What does that even mean?

He suggested a ball cap, steel toe boots, jeans and a plaid flannel shirt. And he was serious. Should I also get a nice mullet and show up with some tobaccky tucked in my lip? While I realize showing up wearing a satin shirt, pencil skirt and open-toe heels probably would not help me to be taken seriously in oil patch land, I'd like to think I can at least show up as a woman.

These guys don't care whether my boots are brown or black, and they probably really don't care whether I wear a navy blue or winter white soft thermal tee under my cute safari style jacket, but if I show up feeling like I'm trying to be something I'm not, they will definitely see the lack of confidence - and that I can not have.

So what am I anyway? I'm a confident woman, who knows more about this equipment than pretty much anyone on the planet. I know that to be a fact, because I've been involved in the manufacturing of it for the past year, I know how it's processors work, and I'm the one they'll be calling with any problems or questions. That's what I want these fine Alaskan gents to see more than anything.

So, the big question on everyone's mind is, I'm sure, whether or not I will be wearing my trademark pearls? Stay tuned and find out...an amazing adventure is close at hand! Ooooohhhh....

An Engineer's Guide to Top Drawer Business Traveling - California

1. When you have a 60 pound booth to set up, do like every other business does and have it shipped ahead of you to the EXACT LOCATION where it is supposed to be assembled. DO NOT have it shipped to the nearest UPS store thinking it would be easier to haul it yourself. Hint: In California, nobody holds the door open for you while you struggle through with your crap (Disclaimer: I'm sure they do, I was just bitter that day).

2. When you go to pick up your rental car, go ahead and pay the additional $5 to get a bigger car. Go ahead and get the $23.50 insurance. They ask you lots of questions really quickly and everything they say seems like the smartest and most sensible thing you ever heard. Just make sure you know that they are talking “per day.” But it’s okay…your company will reimburse you after you get home and explain why you spent an additional $40 a day on a car you’ve driven 18 miles so far. And don’t forget the $10 a day hotel parking fee.

3. Make sure you know what size the refrigerator in your hotel room is before you buy groceries and a 12 pack of beer.

4. Learn this two word phrase, ”Expense it.” This does not, however, apply to a day pass to Disneyland, even though the restaurant you want to eat at, which your company WILL pay for, is inside the park. Hey, a girl has to try!

5. When at a business convention, make sure you bring pens, coffee mugs, candy, something…ANYTHING for people to take. They feign interest in your company until they look down and see you have nothing to offer them other than pricing brochures and a business card. They really don’t care.

6. While at a conference with a big student population in attendance, let them use their big new words like algorithm and hydrological. They know more than you – just ask them. They don’t eat meat and they smoke two packs of cigarettes a day because they love nature.

7. Make GOOD friends with the gal who brought pecan pralines to hand out. BEST friends in fact.

8. Drink all the complimentary coffee you can. It’s the only thing you don’t have to hang on to a receipt for.

9. DO NOT let on to anyone that you are traveling completely by yourself. Otherwise you get asked to dinner by convention attendees and vendors in the booth across from you who don’t care that you are wearing a wedding ring (they certainly don’t care that they’re wearing theirs).

10. It is not advisable that you drink the huge glass of complimentary wine after a very long, busy and frustrating day when the only things you have eaten are thin "fancy" crackers and cheese that smells like ass. Well, on second thought, maybe that’s the perfect time for a free drink!

Just to Be Clear

It has recently been brought to my attention that there is a drink somewhat similar to a Long Island Iced Tea that is called a "Texas Tea". The reason I know this to be true is that fact that I came across several tweets referring to Texas Tea. Here are a few:

"Some drank wouldn't be to bad right now......dat Texas tea",

"This Texas tea is fantastic. I'm gonna be drunk. Happy Easter!",

"Texas tea, you noe that good ass lean, blunt all night, and vicodine, yeahhh I'm sleepin real good tonight!"

I'm not even really sure what all that last one means or if it is even legal.

While it sounds like a lovely concoction and one that I would surely indulge in given the opportunity and several days off work to recover, it is not the "Texas Tea" referred to in my blog title.

With that said, Happy Easter! Perhaps I'll go fix myself a drank now. :)

Welcome

Welcome to my newest project I hope to incorporate into my "other" spare time. But whatever, if it gives me a place to unleash a little stress and insanity without throwing my T-89 calculator at the next person who walks into my office then it's worth it - and, who knows, it may even be a little entertaining. My goal is to share some of the experiences in my life, a lot will be experiences and traveling based around my job (but not all of it), while hopefully connecting with others and hearing their stories as well.

I'm in the middle of a very busy schedule so this is a great time to jump in. Just to catch up, last week I was in Shreveport, LA to help teach one of our equipment training classes and this week I was in Lubbock, TX for the SWPSC 2011 Conference. Ooooh sounds fun, doesn't it? Don't worry. It won't be as boring as you might think.

Coming up in the next month: Texas Expo, South Texas training, Anchorage and Prudhoe Bay!

Welcome to my engineering life. Enjoy!